A lot can happen over a 30 year relationship.  Much of it good; but not all.  After a while, one begins to just exist on the memories of the good times.  It’s not worth bringing up the bad stuff.  What’s done is done and nothing can change it. We had both disappointed each other over the years, but I had cheated and she knew it.  You’re probably surprised I’m willing to be open about my indiscretion.  Like a lot of men, I used to deny it somehow believing that if you never admitted to it, it never happened.  But those kinds of secrets will start to eat away at you inside.   It affects both of you and our last outing didn’t end well.  I ended up walking home with a lot of time to think about what went wrong.

Valentine’s Day is this week.  I wasn’t looking forward to the awkwardness of pretending everything was ok.  I felt I had to do something, if for nothing else, out of respect for 30 years together.   I made plans in the hope we could patch things up.

It was awkward at first.   I had purchased some bling to smooth things over.  She pretended not to be interested.   Now, this was familiar territory for us.  I would buy something for her and she would pretend it didn’t matter as if to say, “You’re not going to buy your way out of this”.  I would get frustrated that my gesture wouldn’t fix everything.  Usually I would walk away angry at her stubbornness and the stalemate would start all over again.  However, this time I was prepared to be patient.   She tested me a couple of times.  But every issue she brought up, I dealt with in a calm and loving fashion without assigning blame.

Things were warming up between us and we decided to venture out.  There was hesitation from us both at first.  I was waiting for something from the past to come up and derail our happy reunion.  But nothing did.  She seemed to be enjoying this as much as I was.  Soon, much of the past problems melted away and I let myself forget all the anger and frustration.  We were living in the moment and right now the moment was 1975, the year I graduated from High School.  We had spent two weeks together on a camping trip to Colorado.   We both looked different back then, but today she felt and smelled the same.

When we got back home, I was grinning from ear to ear.   I rolled her into the garage and promised another outing this coming weekend.   For the moment, all is good between us.  But it won’t last long.  Even while we were together I was thinking about the plans I’ve made to go to New Mexico with her red headed younger sister.

Some people can’t change.